During my college days, I spent most of my time in the Appalachian Mountains, traveling home during breaks or for a month in the summer. Home was Kansas, and while I was back, I would travel to the southwestern towns and visit my grandparents and my aunt. My Grandma was always very supportive of my desire to attend college and she would seemingly devise a reason to give me a little cash to help with expenses. What she came up with was her “Honey Do” list — “Honey, can you do…?” It was a list of cleaning projects or chores for which she would pay me. And so, I would clean the garage or fix a window, wash the car, change a lightbulb or hang a picture.
I would have gladly done any of these things for free, but like I said, she knew I was trying to pay my way through college and so she was glad to have a reason to write me a check and help out. As I got older, the projects increased in difficulty and eventually, I found that I had confidence to help others as well.
Over the years, I’ve developed friendships with many people and many of these friendships include a “Honey Do” list. Some sort of informal exchange that allows me the opportunity to visit, to be helpful, to listen and deepen our friendship.
When I started helping people with their projects, I often times took on projects that I’d never done before, learning as I went, learning by paying attention, taking things apart, going to the library, asking questions or reading literature. Today, there is Youtube and DIY sites that will breakdown and explain just about anything you can imagine. These resources are amazing and I use them quite a bit, however, I also know that a successful project includes care in listening, watching and doing that is more directly related to the “Honey” part of the honey do list. It is the part of the project that requires a friendliness with those you are trying to help, trust, understanding so that the project meets their needs. It is also the part of this work that makes these projects fun and why I keep coming back to them.